Ugh, You're Such An Apple
by ScorpianQueen24
Summary: Sasori Akasuna? In love! With an Uchiha Assassin! Whats gonna happen when Seriousness meets childishness? Sasori and OC Updated and revised, since it got deleted T T Got the Title Idea From Annoying Orange Disclaimer: I don't Own Naruto, Sasori Unfortunately , The Akatsuki, Or Annoying orange
1. Really? Just Really!

It was just an average day at the akatsuki base. Hidan swearing up a storm about something random, Tobi running away from Deidara avoiding being killed, and everyone else either on missions or quietly dealing out their daily routines. I however was just coming back from a mission. I walked through the lair entrance and took a quick glance around.

"_Home sweet home I suppose." _I thought sarcastically.

I walked through the many corridors of the lair and disappeared straight to my room to be surprised to find another bed in there across from mine. I raised my eyebrow questionably and then simply shrugged it off. I was far from a people person as possible. I couldn't stand the aggravation of small talk or the sound of anyone's voice other than my own. But, even if someone was bunking a room with me, I most likely wouldn't talk to them anyway and hopefully they wouldn't dare talk to me. I was about to sit at my desk to work on my third kazekage puppet but, was soon interrupted by the loud booming voice of Pein, our leader, from the loud speaker.

"Sasori Akasuna, report to my office immediately."

"Really? Just really? When I just sit down?" I grumbled, as I arose from his desk.

I sulked down the hallway giving whatever passed me the 'I'm definitely not in a good mood right now, so piss off' glare. I stopped at Peins' door and took a deep breath before knocking and just let myself in.

"Yes, Pein-Sama?" I asked, after gently shutting the door.

"Yes, how did the mission go?" Pein asked, leaning behind his desk, his awkward rinnegan eyes seemingly glaring into space.

"It went well, I infiltrated the village hidden in the snow successfully and escaped undetected."

"Excellent," Pein Replied with a grin invisible while in his shadow form "I have another one for you."

I stopped a groan from leaving my throat and just tried to look as serious as possible; Pein chuckled darkly at this attempt to show how unhappy I was about this.

"Our newest member," he began as he threw a folder at me, "Nara Uchiha has refused our offer to join us, so it is your job to go fetch her for me...almost everything about her you'll need to know is in that folder." I cringed at the sound of her name "_a girl."_ I thought sourly. One thing I can't stand more than handling people is handling females. I _loathe _being near them for any reason at all. Even though I was human at one time and almost kissed the ground these creatures walked on, being a puppet began to cause me to…turn his back on life so to speak. Suddenly, something hit me that brought me back to reality almost instantly "_Oh no, another Uchiha." _I looked up at Pein and hesitantly opened up my mouth to ask a question "_IT_ isn't related to that cocky long haired bastard Itachi is she?" I asked.

"Yes, she is. He is her older brother. He left her for dead with their other brother when they were only 7 and 8 to come join us." He replied sounding quite bored. Now Itachi Uchiha was more than what people thought he was and more. He had deep onyx and uncaring eyes, long raven black hair which he kept in bangs and a ponytail, and not to mention he was an excellent shinobi. But, that wasn't why he accepted into the akatsuki. He is mainly notorious for killing all of his family members and leaving no one but his 2 siblings alive so they would seek revenge from him. I can't stand Itachi so it was a no brainer that I most likely was not going to get along with this new girl.

"If you're done with questions I suggest you get a move on." Pein said waving me out of his office.

I turned on my heel to towards the door then gently shut it as I marched out to embark on my new mission.

_"Boy, this is going to be fun."_ I thought sarcastically shoving my hands into my cloak.


	2. Who the Hell are You!

I was just coming home from a long mission for the 5th hokage. I opened the door to the main branch house of the Uchiha compound and trudged straight to the bathroom to start a warm herbal for my sore and aching body. My assassins' uniform was chucked into the washer and my armor was thrown into the kitchen sink to be washed and polished. As soon as I was completely naked I slowly got into the large boiling hot tub and slowly sunk down in it.

"Mmmmmm these herbs from Ino's flower shop sure do work wonders, I can feel my pain melting away already! They smell good too!" I said as I shut my eyes and started to doze off.

~ Sasori~

I was walking in the forest, inside my Hiruko puppet of course, making way to this Uchiha woman's current residence. I store at her pictures inside the folder while controlling Hiruko at the same time. She has Jet black hair; deep dark black holes for eyes just like Itachi and sun kissed soft looking skin.

"Hmph, what makes this Uchiha girl so different from the other ones. She looks just as cocky and simple minded as the other ones."

While I had my nose deep in this girls business my other senses where all stuck in my imagination. What I failed to realize was that Hiruko was headed off the right path, into the woods and straight for a river. I only noticed this small detail when Hiruko started to fill with water.

"Ah shit!" I exclaimed as I scrambled to get out of Hiruko. Before he sank underwater I put him inside of a scroll and continued my journey on foot.

"Ugh, now I got to polish him and check for mold and termites…" I mumbled the procedures to myself as I trudged down the pathway to Konoha.

_"This girl is already turning out to be more trouble than she was worth. She's already ruined one of my puppets without even being here."_ I thought angrily to myself.

Just a few yards from the village gates was a sign that said 'Welcome to Konoha!' in big green kanji letters. I ducked behind the sign and used Transformation Jutsu to change my appearance so that I could infiltrate the village without any problems. My hair was down to my shoulders and I wore a fishnet shirt with ninja pants and black ninja sandals.

I casually walked up to the information desk people and cleared my throat to get their attention.

"Excuse me, but do you know where Nara Uchiha is?" I asked kind of impatiently.

The one with the straw in his mouth narrowed his eyes at me, "And whose asking?"

"Her escort to the assassins' council." I said without hesitation to appear like I wasn't lying.

The other man gave me smile and said, "Just take a left, then take a right, go straight for two blocks then take another left and walk past the lake and you should be there."

"Thanks." I said while hurrying towards the Uchiha Compound.

Although this girl didn't expect me coming, I didn't want to have to make her wait for my arrival because no matter what I didn't like to make people wait.

~Nara~

I woke up still in the tub and looked at the wall to check my bathroom clock and scrambled to get out of the tub when I realized I've been in there for almost a whole hour. I drained the tub and went to brush my teeth and comb my hair, with different brushes of course, until I heard a loud thumping noise right outside my bathroom door. I carefully peeked out my bathroom door and there I saw a man with red hair much lighter and longer than Gaara's and gorgeous chocolate brown eyes.

"_Wait what? Gorgeous?! This mother mofo here and breaking into my house and all I can think about is his gorgeous eyes?!"_ I thought while slowly backing away from the door falling into my tub causing a loud thumping noise to echo around my room.

_"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!"_ I thought panicking.

I grabbed something hard to hit him with for when he came into the room, which was the vase that Sakura gave me for Christmas, I hated it anyway…she knows Uchiha's hate pink. He opened the door and I bashed him upside his head with the vase and it shattered into a thousand pieces.

_"Well, that's one problem solved."_ I thought happily.

But what got me was how he wasn't bleeding; that couldn't be a good sign. He looked directly at me with the blankest stare ever and he said,

"I'm sorry, but was that suppose to...I don't know, hurt me in some way shape or form?" he said uncaringly.

"What the hell are you doing in my house you asswhole?!" I screamed at him.

"I'm here for you…what do I look like I'm here for…to borrow some sugar?" He said once again uncaringly.

"JUST GET OUT!" I said shoving him.

"Look you…I'd love to get the hell out of here and work on my puppets but I'm here on strict orders to retrieve you."

"Don't call me 'you' I have a name ya know!"

"It's probably Stupid Bitch."

"Asshole!"

"Slut."

"You're such a big Dick!"

"Thank you. It's very big thank you. Maybe one day I'll make you take it."

"Wait what?!" I exclaimed.

Before I could figure out what he meant he hauled me over his shoulder and was jumping out the window with me.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! I NEVER AGREED TO COME WITH YOU! AND I'M FUCKING NAKED!" I yell at him…my face turning all different shades of red.

"Maybe you should use your bedroom voice. Then no one would notice your nudity." He mumbled.

"BEDROOM VOICE?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!" I tried beating on his back until he dropped me…but his back was all hard so I ended up hurting my hand.

After yelling at him I felt a sharp pain going into one of my still open wounds and I suddenly couldn't move. My eyes slowly started closing on me and the only thing I heard was someone say, "Ahh so much better."


	3. The Not So Heartless PuppetBoy!

I stuck a poisoned senbon into the Uchiha female and it soon was peaceful just as my trip to her apartment was.

_"This bitch sure can run her mouth off. I'm certainly not going to like sharing a room with her…Maybe I should think of some rules to make her follow if she's going to be sharing a room with me." _I thought.

It was getting late and I bet this woman was cold. I didn't care…let the bitch suffer; _But_ leader would be _BEYOND _pissed if I treated our new 'Guest' with such inhospitality. So I set up camp and lit a fire, staying as far away from it as possible; fire plus wood equals, not good. Now, I just had to figure out what the hell do normal people eat? I know when I travel with Deidara he eats fish but I don't know how to catch, gut, clean, or cook a fish so that's out of the question. I guess I have to go kill an animal or something. Right then a duck floated by…quacking.

_"Maybe she'll eat that." _I thought, as I took out a senbon and threw it at the duck.

The small feathery animal died almost instantly, allowing me to pick it up and bring it to the fire.

I look down at the creature not sure of how to cook it…the feathers didn't look all that appetizing so I began shaving them off ever so carefully, picking out all the left over feather stems…watching as the blood trickled down my fingers and arm. I watched it till a droplet of blood fall to the ground and almost completely vanished into the dirt. The animal stared at me, pleadingly, as if telling me not to cook it and serve it to this girl…but unless I wanted my dick chopped off by Pein I had too. So in quick and easy movements I snapped off the head and appendages off of the duck letting the blood gush out into the fire.

_"This is almost exactly like cleaning out a body for my human puppets." _I thought to myself as I waited impatiently for the blood to finish dripping.

I took a stick and stuck it all the way through the animal and held it over the fire…like roasting marshmallows as Tobi had demonstrated for me some time ago. I waited; and waited; AND WAITED till the bird was finished cooking. Deidara normally cooked fish until it turned brownish and wasn't dripping any sort of fluids…and he normally but some sort of leaves and grass shit on it, for flavor. I propped the stick on a rock and pulled some weird looking grass, a root of some sort, and a few leaves from a bush and crushed them up. After dumping the substance onto the bird I sat there and waited some more. While I waited I looked at the Uchiha girl from across the fire; scanning her body, from her head to her toes and EVERYTHING in between. Her jet black hair was dirty and curly from laying her head in the dirt, her body was also covered in dirt and little red bumps from mosquito bites. But, even so she looked at peace lying there, breathing only ever 4-5 seconds. For a second I almost felt bad for having tainted her with my rough and rude gestures of hauling her over my shoulder and taking her away naked then just throwing her onto the dirt like a piece of white trash. ALMOST. For now I just had to de-poison her and give her this damn bird, so I grabbed a vile from my cloak and emptied it in my mouth; I swished it around then gently opened her mouth and pretty much French kissed her…as Deidara would call it and after a while she started to stir.

~Nara~

I was dreaming. A dream about me coming home from a long mission. A dream about taking a relaxing bath then having some kidnapping bastard, an adorable one too, kidnapped me then struck me with some of sort poisonous needle. Then I dreamt I woke up to find him kissing me. His lips so soft and his eyes such a gorgeous creamy brown color. I slowly opened my eyes to find just that, although his eyes had a less….seductive…look than they had in my dreams. My eyes opened wide and I tried to push him away but I couldn't feel any of my limbs responding so I sat there and enjoyed it while I could. He sat up and pulled away from me then he used a rock as a plate and gave me a cooked duck. I honestly couldn't speak and tell him to get that burnt shit out of my face but, I felt as though my voice box wasn't quite working right so I just stared at it. He spoke.

"Although I gave you the antidote...you won't be able to move right for the next few hours. Knowing this, I made this for you…I couldn't care less if you like it or not but unless you want to die then don't eat it." He said as he pulled a piece from the duck and stuck it near my mouth.

I sighed, knowing what he said was true and opening my mouth slightly to take the tiny morsel of food he was giving to me. He dropped it into my mouth and I began to chew ever so slowly. The herbs he used weren't that bad, just lemon grass, ginger and plain old leaves; if he didn't use leaves and it was completely cooked AND if it wasn't burnt…it would actually be kind of good. I ate almost every bit of food he gave me except for like a half a breast then he let me go. All of a sudden I felt my limbs almost magically move and my whole body following suit and standing at attention.

"I'll be controlling you for quite some time now…so you might as well get use to it now…consider yourself my little slave. We'll be sharing a room, you will not make any annoying sounds…you will not bother me while I'm working…and you will pretty much do anything I say until you die…but of course you're not going to die…I'll make you permanent like me." He said while smiling creepily at me.

My eyes grew to the size of dinner plates just listening to him talk.

_"His slave?! Be permanent like him?!" _ I thought to myself in horror.

What exactly did this kidnapper want from me? Did he really just want me as a slave? Who did he get orders from to capture me? So many questions ran through my head as we began walking to the place this guy called home.


	4. Huh? You're not Deidara!

Chapter 4

~Nara~

We must have been walking for hours but, yet he was still controlling me with those chakra strings of his; I was surprised that his chakra hadn't run out yet. Although I wasn't actually controlling my own body I was still exhausted and it just wouldn't feel right falling asleep while walking so I kept my eyes as wide open as possible. I sighed loudly and glanced at him sideways to check and see if he was tired yet only to find him seemingly staring off into space and looking like he could just go on forever. I frowned and looked back up at the road and slumped my shoulders down and sighed loudly again.

This time he glanced at me from the corner of his eye with a hint of hatred in them and said,

"Stop doing that…its annoying."

I pouted and looked at him full on and replied by saying,

"Mister, This trip is taking entirely too long, I'm exhausted, and I'm hurt. Can we at least make a rest stop?" I said while pouting a little bit more.

He looked me dead in my face and replied with a very blunt 'No' and saying how we were almost there anyway then dropping the topic entirely.

Suddenly, after a few minutes of complete silence and forest noises, he picked me up over his shoulder and did some sort of release jutsu on a wall on the side of a mountain. A door revealed itself from behind some bushes and after that I started dozing off but, I tried to keep my eyes open for as long as possible.

When this man did this release jutsu he didn't only release the wall camouflage but he also released his disguise. He had short shaggy red hair, the same creamy chocolate brown eyes, and he was wearing a black cloak with red clouds on it.

"Y-you're a…an A-Aka-"

"An Akatsuki yes, that's right. Now just keep quiet and go to sleep." He said while walking down hallway after hallway of the Akatsuki hideout. Normally when someone told me to do something that I _love _doing, they wouldn't have to tell me twice, especially when I was being told to sleep or eat, but now I was focused on staying awake; seeing as if I let my guard down I'd definitely lose my life.

The red-headed akatsuki member opened a door and walked with me into a room that had puppets on one of the four walls in the room along with a bed and clay sculptures on another side which also had a bed and the last part of the room was blank with a just a bed there. He set me down in the black side of the room and then dumped a bunch of scrolls on the puppet infested side of what I assumed to be his and someone else's room.

"Stay in here, not like you have much of a choice, and wait for me to come back and get you. In about an hour or so the poison should be completely gone from your system and your limbs should function properly again. If a blonde _boy_ comes into the room don't be alarmed, that's just my partner/roommate Deidara. If you get hungry tell him to get you something to eat. I'm leaving." He explained while walking out the door and slamming it.

After of few moments of silence my stomach made the loudest growling noise, in the history of loud growling noises. I attempted to curl into a ball to make the growling and abdominal pain go away but, my body still wasn't responding to my brain.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccckkkk." I said trying to distract myself.

I tried to find something entertaining to look at, when I heard the door start to jiggle and open. I held my breath and tried to stay as quiet as possible. Normally, I'd try to hide, hold my breath and stab the person to death with my wrist blade and make a crafty escape but, as you can see my assassin mindset doesn't work when I can't move. The person opening the door opening it painfully slow then he slammed it open leaving a good sized dent in the wall.

"Deidara-Sempai!" The man shouted while throwing his hands up into the air.

A sweat drop rolled down the side of my head as I stared at the over-sized child but, then I remembered that this is a place full of S-Ranked criminals so this guys child like behavior could be just an act and an attempt to kill me; so I had to keep what little guard I had left up.

"Huuuhh? You're not Deidara-Sempai! Deidara-Sempai isn't as pretty…" he said while putting a finger to his chin, "What's pretty girls' name?"

I hesitated a moment in giving him my name but, seeing as I was already in deep shit as it was I guess it couldn't have hurt.

"Um…My name is Nara…Nara Mariko Uchiha. What's yours?" I said while tilting my head slightly to the side.

"Oh! Uchiha? You're related to Itachi-San then right? He lives here to ya know! My name is Tobi by the way and Tobi is a good boy!" He said while doing a dramatic pose while pointing to himself.

My eyes widened at the information Tobi had given me and I was almost happy enough to try and get up and jump for joy. As Tobi was babbling on about himself I was attempting to find a way to interrupt him without being rude which turned out to be damn near impossible seeing as he couldn't keep quiet not even for a good four seconds.

"T-Tobi?" I asked while trying to look over at him.

Tobi stopped in mid sentence just to look at me in acknowledgement and I smiled one of my most charming smiles I could muster and said,

"Tobi…when I get better could you take me to see him? My Brother?" I said while taking hold of his hand as he stepped closer. I don't know whether Tobi's mask was glowing red where his cheeks were suppose to be behind his mask or if I was just hallucinating but, whatever I was doing was working.

"Uh sure Nara-Chan…just for you though." He said while winking at me through his single eye hole. I giggled and my stomach started growling again.

"Um Tobi? Could you do I a favor and get me something to eat? Deidara was supposed to come and I was supposed to ask him but, he hasn't shown up yet."

Tobi put one of his hands on his hips and the other one gave me the thumbs up,

"Sure thing, Nara-Chan!" Tobi said excitedly while stumbling out of the room.

I smile to myself, "He's so cute." I thought out loud.

Little did I know someone was watching us the whole time, and still was at this very moment.

* * *

Lol Cliff Hanger! You guys wanna tell me where to take this story?! Leave it in the review Puh-lease! I like idears!


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